Monday, January 13, 2014

Is Governor Chris Christy FUBAR?

Christie and Company are FUBAR*  or How to Tick Off Your Constituents Forever!!!!

They just don't get it, do they? There is no forgiveness for such behavior. It is possibly the worst example of Callous Behavior in the history of American Culture! Heck, maybe in the modern world! You can raise our taxes, lower or remove our services, spy on us, even put us in endless overseas wars, but there is one thing for which there will never be absolution!

"Subterfugian Traffica", which, as we all know is Latin for "The Intentional Closing of traffic lanes to settle a political grudge regardless of who it affects!" This action goes by many names: Traffic Jams, Bottlenecks, Snarls, Logjams, Gridlock or my favorite, Rubber Necking.

We all go to the same church, mosque or temple, in situations like this. Our car slows down abruptly upon seeing the red brake lights in front of us, we come to a complete halt and begin the universal chant in unison, Oh Sh*t!  Ed Note: Of course, we also needed to go to the bathroom 20 minutes ago from drinking all of the venti size beverages we drank prior to the traffic jam!

Unfortunately, most everyone can identify with traffic problems. To intentionally place decent, hard working commuters into traffic is insufferable and intolerable. It is absolutely, the worst thing you could possible do to a commuter/voter. You can do mea culpeas for 2 hours in a press conference, promise investigations, fire a few token employees, but there is never forgiveness for such a travesty.

You can do just about anything to the American Taxpayer. They are busy with their own lives and put their faith in their leadership (occasionally). This is a republic after all, a representative form of Democracy. Voters go to jobs they may not like just to put Mac 'n Cheese on the table. They sit in their cars traveling minuscule distances for hours. Why you ask? The answer, because they have to. They deal, on a regular basis with all kinds of delays; traffic, weather and fender benders which usually affect their schedules of going to work, picking up the kids from school or the dog from the shampoo truck. They don't like it, but understand and deal with it except, in the unusual cases of LA road rage. (Folks shoot at each other from their cars.) Ed Note: This is rumored to be a future Olympic sport, possibly sponsored by The NRA and Remington.

My Suggestion. The Governor and his staff must pay penance and suffer the same way we do. No Jail, civil lawsuits or resignations.  No, that would be getting off too easily. The punishment must fit the crime. They must give up their chauffeur driven black SUVs and commit to driving themselves to work 5 days a week for one year. The vehicle they drive must be a used compact size Yugo with a noisy, barely functioning heater, no Sirius, only AM radio. They must commute a distance of 50 miles each way. Spilling hot coffee on their clothing, while stopping short, is also recommended to avoid future recidivism.

Ah, I feel so much better now! I can dream, can't I?  A vivid imagination is such a wonderful thing!

* Ask your kids or google it.